The Anti-Soccer Mom
by Amy Doran
Home-Based-Parents and the APPP ezine
The other day Maggie, Ethan and I were playing together. Maggie is 15 months old now and Ethan is thirteen years old. Ethan is so good with the baby that it is easily assumed he will make a wonderful father, some day far, far away.
I couldn't resist asking Ethan how many children he wanted. He laughed at me and said, "Mom, guys don't think about that kind of thing." I said, "Really? Your dad said he always wanted three."
"Well, I haven't really thought about how many I want. But, I do know that when I have kids they won't be allowed to play team sports."
I was a little surprised, I hadn't realized that Ethan felt that strongly about it. When I asked him why he said, "Team sports make kids conform. It teaches them to act just like everyone else. I want my kids to be themselves just like you let us be."
I'm not a sports fan. Our family is not a sports family, I don't think any of us even knew who was in the last
super bowl. I don't understand the mentality. I think the people who spend their time memorizing stats on players and teams are wasting it. I am actually embarrassed for the people who display huge team logos on the back of their vehicles.
My son is very athletic, but he's not into football, baseball, or soccer. He spent a season and a half in Little League and decided it just wasn't for him. He's more interested in golf and archery. His first love is his guitar which has been a passion for over four years now.
I have been complimented for having children who think for themselves. I've also been told that children who think for themselves will cause trouble for you later on. Personally, I don't agree with that. People who think outside the box bring change, most of the time for the better. I have no intention of raising "sheeple" because I firmly believe that there is nothing more dangerous than ignorance in mass. After all, if you don't think for yourself someone else will be more than happy to do it for you.
In our short experience with Little League I saw nothing that appealed to me or made me believe that it was a worthwhile way for any of my children to spend their time. The parents were "foaming at the mouth" sports addicts who pushed their kids as if an ivy league scholarship was riding on every game, the kids would bash other kids on their team if they missed a ball, and heaven-forbid if you struck out. The coaches were even worse.
Now, don't get me wrong, they had lovely rules that said that every kid had to bat at least once every game and things like that. But, let's face it, there weren't any women out there coaching which means that every coach out there was after just one thing and one thing only... to win, period. It's a male thing, the testosterone is pounding, and let's face it, it's the ultimate strong obliterating the weak opportunity.
There's only a sense of "team" if you win, and then it's only if you were one of the people perceived to have helped the team win. Those feel good movies like, "Mighty Ducks" and "The Bad News Bears" are pipe dreams, plain and simple.
Conformity and competition are two of the most unhealthy lessons we can teach our children. I believe that when you teach a child to compete then you instill in them that for them to excel someone else must lose, that there is only a limited amount of good out there and they must "beat" someone else in order to obtain it.
I'd rather teach my child that there is such a thing as abundance and that we all have the ability to obtain whatever dream or goal we choose without having to make someone else "lose."
I guess that makes me the "anti-soccer" mom. I'm really ok with that, after all, I'd rather raise three individuals who think for themselves and desire to go further than any "field goal" can take them.
Now, don't get me wrong, I certainly am not for abolishing team sports. After all, that would put thousands of sports bars out of business, right? And, I obviously believe in supporting the
Amy Doran is an Ezine Publisher, and Full time Mom! She started Home-Based-Parents and the APPP Ezine in early 2000. Dedicated to Moms and Dads working at home in any capacity the APPP Ezine is delivered via email every other Wednesday! Subscribe to the APPP Ezine at:
© 2000-2004 Amy N. Doran All Rights Reserved
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