Your Not-So-Empty Nest
by Karen Wolff
So the day has finally come.....your last child has gone to college or moved out of your home. Here you are, alone with your husband for the first time in many years. So now what?
There are some tricks to making this time easier, more enjoyable, and A LOT less stressful.
1. First, be happy about how well you've done with your kids. So they're not perfect. Nobody's kids are perfect. Accepting and feeling good about the great job you've done not only makes you feel good, it is critical to helping you move forward in this stage of your life.
2. Stop telling yourself how upset you are. You didn't lose anything. Your kids are out living their lives, being happy, successful, and are exactly where they need to be. Telling yourself, your kids, and your spouse how upset you are simply makes it harder for everyone. It isn't fair to make your kids feel guilty about wanting to live their own lives.
3. Mentally prepare yourself a long time in advance of your final child leaving your home. Start seeing yourself happy doing lots of new things with your husband. Start visualizing yourself starting new hobbies you've always wanted to pursue but never had the time. You can even see yourself enjoying a quiet evening with your husband watching a movie and enjoying a nice glass of wine. There's no limit to all the positive things you can imagine.
4. Don't let the negative stuff come and take up residence in your mind. Whenever those negative feelings start coming around, make the effort to consciously replace them with the positive ones you're creating. By the time the actual time comes, you'll be used to feeling good about it and things will be so much easier.
Just remember that your nest isn't empty, you're just making room for other things. You'll see your kids coming and going from your home, but just know that whatever they decide to do, you're going to be fine because you're choosing to think right so you can feel and act right no matter what.
About the Author
Karen Wolff is the founder of
, a website where Christian women can get help with issues they face every day. For more help on this topic, go to
Empty Nest Depression...Or Is It?
(NOTE: Referral to Web sites not produced
by the Caton Family is for informational purposes only, and does not
necessarily constitute an endorsement of the sites' content.)
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