death of friend


Supporting a Friend Who Has Lost a Loved One
& How You Can Help
by Carl Caton

We've all been there.  Someone you are close to loses a family member.  While the loss may not be significant to you, it is certainly significant to someone you love.  

At times like this, we find ourselves saying, "I wish there was something I could do".  Well, there is.  Here a some practical pointers to show love during a difficult time.

Be Practical.
When someone loses a family member, chaos sets in.  There is so much to do - planning funerals, meeting family, hosting out of town guests.  You can help out by providing those basic essentials that are so needed during times like these.  Why not drop some supplies by their house.  Here's a sample shopping list:

plates, bowls, napkins, cups 
coffee, creamer, sugar 
plastic utensils 
food in disposable containers
simple, complete meals like casseroles
canned vegetables & fruits 
bottled water 
foils, glad wrap, zip lock bags
cookies, cake, pies 

Learn the Art of Brevity.
Realizing how much your friend must do during these times, keep things simple and short.  When visiting, don't stay too long.  When talking, don't say too much.  Simply saying, "I'm sorry for your loss" is often enough.  Let them do the talking.  Sometimes, your presence is all that's required.

Be Honest but Tactful.
Sometimes we are at a loss for what to say.  So we use clichés and other meaningless words.  If your friend lost his father, don't say "your dad was a great man" if he was really a scoundrel.  If you can't truthfully complement the deceased, then say nothing at all.  Also, be aware of the quality of relationship that your friend had with the deceased - whether good or difficult.

Honor the Grieving Process.
No one likes to see a friend hurting.  So we try to cheer them up.  Don't force your friend to put on a happy face to please you.  Be supportive of her grief and understand that it simply takes time.  Tell her you will pray for her.

Be There When the Dust Settles.
Just after the death, people are over stimulated with friends and relatives.  In a short few weeks, loneliness can set in.  After the funeral, put a note on your calendar to contact your friend a few weeks later with a card or phone call.  Be an eager listener.  Be patient with the grieving process.

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death of friend


death of friend